Thursday, day after surgery. ICU. Horrible place. A machine breathes for him (BiPap), tubes drain his chest, and innumerable IVs, drugs, and monitors show his heart rate, blood pressure, and more. Constant beeping. Sometimes irregular. Not awake. Unaware. Out of it. Nurses in and out spending more time on the computer than interacting with him. Seeing me, but not. Doctors walk by room…but don’t come in. Where are his doctors? Please come in. Explain in real sentences.
Realize that I have to ask a question for the nurse to respond….but what should I be asking? Tell me. Tell me something. Tell me he will get better.
Nothing.
Scared and frightened I head home. No answers. Nothing.
Friday and Saturday more of the same. In and out of consciousness. So frail. How much weight has he lost? Learning about white blood count and oxygen levels. The infection not stopped by the surgery. Moved to the other lung. What now? Breathing tube and feeding tube.
Talked to the pulmonologist about Wiley’s infection increasing. Wants to do bronchoscope to pull out infection.
Almost two weeks and nothing. Only getting worse. No diagnosis. No explanations. Nothing. Not one damn thing.
The Missing Handbook 